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February 09 2012
Jar Jar Binks
Meesa most hated character in Star Wars!
Those three innocuous words fill any die-hard Star Wars fan with revulsion.
A coworker of mine is engaged to a die-hard fan. She never watched any of the Star Wars movies until she met him. He has only “allowed” her to watch Episodes IV, V, and VI (the older ones). [Don't worry, it's a healthy relationship - she has absolutely no desire to watch the new ones.]
As I said, he’s a die-hard fan. They’ve talked about having Han and Leia cake toppers on their wedding cake (I’ll give you one guess whose idea that was.)
So I’m enlisting her in a prank. I’ve explained who Jar Jar Binks is to her, and she’s going to bring it up to him in a little scene that should go something like this:
Her: Oh honey, I saw the coolest thing today.
Him: Yeah, what was it?
Her: It’s something from Star Wars. And I want to include it on our cake, ok?
Him: *eyes lighting up* Yes? What was it? A working replica of a light saber? A tie fighter? A foot-high model of the Death Star?
Her: No silly, none of those things. No, I saw a clip on Youtube. He’s the cutest character, and so silly. Let’s see, his name was…Jar Jar Binks, I think?
Him: *aghast* No. No no no no no nononono. For all that is holy, no. Anything but that.
Her: Oh, why not sweetie? He’s so cute, with that long tongue, and big floppy ears. And that cute accent? “Meesa hungry!” I love that!
Him: …
Her: Oh come on baby, pleeeeease?
Him: No. Anything but that.
Her: Oh, ok, fine. How about an Ewok then? Or one of those “pod racers” that Jar Jar Binks was fixing? OOH! How about an Ewok riding IN a pod racer? Wouldn’t that be adorable?
Him: …
Him: I’d like the engagement ring back, please.
.
Come to think of it, maybe this isn’t such a good idea for a prank, after all.
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