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February 22 2012
February 07 2012
Before 7 AM…
Early this morning (i.e. before 7AM), I replaced the Bean’s doorknob with the one from my closet door. The new one? It does not lock.
4 year olds do not need a door that locks. ESPECIALLY when they use it to act out in anger.
On a related note, my wife will now be able to lock herself in the master bedroom closet when she can’t take the kids anymore.
What did you do before 7 AM? What do you WISH you had done before 7 AM?
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January 26 2012
You May Be Experiencing Longer Than Normal Wait Times. Please Be Patient.
Just a quick note here to point out the following:
- Even when you try to take care of tech problems in a proactive manner, they’re still a pain.
- Hard drives click when they’re angry. They chirp when they’re sick. When they take 2 hours to transfer data to a backup that should only take 20 minutes, you better dig yourself a hole because you’re going to be holding a burial service very shortly (either for the hard drive or the first unsympathetic person who makes a comment about how you should have backed up more often.)
- Having a backup is great. Even better if it is an automated one. But knowing how to properly restore from said backup without accidentally deleting your data is key.
- No matter how much backing up you do, you’ll always overlook something.
- Settings and applications don’t get backed up. Make sure you know what was installed and how to restore your computer the way you like it or you’ll be pulling out your hair for
hoursdaysweeks. I recommend running Belarc Advisor (Windows only) to generate a list of everything you’ve got installed so you don’t overlook anything later. - It’s OK to feel naked without your computer. It’s not OK to go around naked without your computer. Unless you’re in a nudist camp or the comfort of your own home.
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January 12 2012
Hey Forrest Gump – Forget the Chocolates and Give Me Peanut Butter!
As I was making myself a sandwich the other day, I realized that life blogging is a lot like a jar of peanut butter.
Now, before you go all “crazy eyebrow” on me – I don’t mean physically (although some of my blog posts do tend to stick to the roof of your mouth if you’re not careful), but more in a metaphorical sense.
After all, for both peanut butter and blogs, everyone’s got their own personal favorite brand and style, and many folks will spend hours (if not their entire lives) trying to convince you that their version is superior to yours.
[Note: SuperChunk not to be confused with Superchunk.]
Heck, some people are so gung-ho about their peanut butter blogging that they seem totally immersed in the experience.
And, well, let’s face it – some people just don’t understand the concept of blogging and come out with the craziest, most disjointed stuff ever written on the face of the planet.
BUT, I’m digressing from my tangent.
Peanut Butter. Blogging. One and the same.
Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? You start off with that tabula rasa. The jar blog is pure and unmarred, the slate wiped clean and ready for you to make of it what you will…
And and first, you’re enamored with your new jar blog, putting your personal touches on it as only you can…
It may not be an everyday thing for you, but you’re always eager to come back for another helping (at least at first).![]()
But after a while, things are feeling a bit stale, and maybe you’re a bit set in your ways. You have to dig deeper to get the same level of quality out of the jar blog.
And before you know it, you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel. You’re writing about the quesadilla you had for lunch last Tuesday – and not because it was divine, but because you can’t seem to pull anything else out of the depths of your own personal peanut butter jar.
If you’re not careful, this path can lead to severe depression. Left unchecked, you’ll probably end up huddled in the fetal position, trying to use a spatula to eke out a few remaining teaspoons of that delicious substance from an empty container.
But wait! There’s a solution! Just like you can buy a new jar (or make one yourselves, you hippies, you), you can restock your own personal store of inspiration and start anew. Unlike peanut butter, though, Amazon can’t deliver this to your door. But don’t fret! Just mix things up or try something new – embark on a grand new adventure, teach someone a new card game, or watch a movie. Volunteer for a local charity, learn a musical instrument, give blood, or paint a picture. Clean your bathroom, build a birdhouse, take a road trip, shave your head, or jump in a pile of leaves (preferably one someone else raked together.)
And then, most importantly, blog about it. Don’t worry if your new source of inspiration doesn’t last as long as a previous one – some jars are bigger than others. (And sometimes, you used a soup spoon to dig a big ol’ hunk of peanut butter out of the jar instead of using a knife like your parents taught you.) But hey, there’s always more Skippy on the shelf, and with a bit of effort, I’m betting your personal stock of peanut butter is renewable, too.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-essM3zzcrY
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January 10 2012
Fresh Starts and Old Farts
As you can probably tell by the history/calendar links on the right hand side of this blog, I’ve been on a blogging hiatus for quite some time now. I’ve had all the best of intentions for getting some new posts on here about Life, The Universe, and Everything, but I’ve ended up putting other items as a higher priority, and this site just fell into the cracks between other things I’ve been working on. I’ve been posting some stuff on Tumblr, but that’s more of a stream-of-consciousness and quips-as-I-think-of-them activity, not the longer, more in-depth posts that I’ve been meaning to write. So, after listening to Merlin Mann and his Back to Work podcast, where he talks about why resolutions suck and why most people set themselves up to fail, I’ve decided to take a tip from him and start fresh and just try making some modest changes to my behavior to get over the inertia of not writing for such a long period of time.
Therefore, I am NOT making a resolution to blog more. I’m not decreeing that I’ll get X posts up a week, or that I’ll write Y book reviews a month, or Z posts that aren’t about my family or running (which is what the majority of my posts recently seem to be about). Instead, I’m considering this an official “Fresh Start” with modest goals – I’m going to get my butt in the chair daily, for at least a half hour of dedicated clacking away at the keyboard. Not surfing the internet, but actual typing. Nothing may come of my day’s activity, and in fact I might not even come up with more than a few hundred words in that half-hour, but I’ll make the effort that will get me rolling. And I expect, more often than not, I’ll come up with something I’m content to edit into something I’ll eventually be proud to post (heck, this post is the first of such efforts).
To aid me in this activity, I’m starting up again on 750words.com – it’s a great, private site intended for people who write “morning pages” but can’t write longhand to save their lives. The goal of the site is to simply type 750 words, or approximately 3 pages of typewritten, double-spaced text, daily. If you write more than this, good for you. If you write less? You won’t get “credit” for the day, and you break your “streak” of days writing 750 words or more. By extending your streak you can earn cute “badges”, but the real beauty of the site is its clean, distraction-free layout, built-in word counter, and ease of use.
If you make the word count, it lets you know, right then and there. If not, you can get a reminder email sent to you at a pre-set time to bug you to get back on the horse and try again for that day. I’ve always enjoyed using it as a private, personal place to type out and thereby work out what’s on my mind, but now I’m also using it to “prime the pump”, so to speak, as I get back to the keyboard. 750 words takes me about 10-12 minutes, on average, so after I wrap up whatever I was typing about that got me to the goal that day, I plan to just switch over to something else and maybe, possibly, get some blog material out of it. We’ll see how it goes. As of right now, I’m pretty psyched with this plan. It seems achievable. It’s not something that I am going to feel is hanging over my head – all it takes is 30 minutes of my time. So that’s 1 less TV show or a half-hour of my lunch break, and I’m good to go for the day.
This past November, I ran my very first half-marathon, ever. At 32, I don’t recover as quickly as I used to, from ANY sort of mental or physical activity, but that run really knocked me on my ass. I spent the majority of the rest of the day on the couch or in bed, trying to recuperate. Part of it was me pushing myself in the race, but part of it was just what my body is telling me but my brain has yet to fully accept: I’m not the spring chicken I used to be.
Yes, I’m still relatively young, don’t get me wrong. And I’m in better shape now than I was 5 or even 6 years ago. But that doesn’t mean I’m still 22, able to stay out all night partying with friends, or even stay up all night at home watching movies and playing video games. If I don’t get a solid 7 hours of sleep, my body rebels – often by refusing to wake up to the alarm clock (which can be quite embarrassing when I only manage to wake up my wife and/or kids when the alarm goes off). And if I spend the morning running around with the kids, or, as I did this past fall, coaching soccer, I better plan on a nap/recharge period in the afternoon or else I’m toast by the kids’ bedtime. Sad, but true. I think increasing my fitness activities is helping me regain some of my previous going-about-my-day stamina, but my pep is still a step slower than it used to be.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not necessarily a full-on couch potato (or at least, I can pretty authoritatively pretend to NOT be one). But the aches and pains I get slightly more often than I did 10 years ago, combined with their unwillingness to leave me quite as quickly, have me eyeing that couch on more than a few occasions. Time’s catching up with me. I’m still ahead, but I need to pick up the pace if I want to outrun it for a while longer.
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June 15 2011
A Typical Early Morning Conversation
Me: *snoring*
Alarm clock @ 5:15: *Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz* WAKE UP. WAKE UP. *Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Me: Huh? Wha? Huh?
Alarm Clock: WAKE UP. Or I will continue to blare Top 40 Country hits until I wake up your wife and daughters.
Me: Huh? Wha?
Me: Wait, what is going on here?
Me: Does that clock say 5:15? Who the hell set the alarm for 5:15?
Me: Oh wait, I set the alarm for 5:15.
Me: Why on earth did I set the alarm for 5:15 again?
Me: *slides out of bed, turns off the alarm*
Alarm Clock: See ya tomorrow, sucker.
My Body: Wait. What are you doing standing up? We should be sleeping right now.
Me: I’m not exactly sure, myself. Brain, you want to weigh in?
My Brain: You’ve reached Ross’ Brain. I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message I’ll get back as soon as possible. Hahahaha.
Me: Umm.
Body: Seriously. Get horizontal now, or I’m gonna do it for you.
Me: Wait. Running. I’m supposed to go running this morning.
Body: Are you kidding? There’s no way I’m going running this morning. Actually, I don’t know why I’m even having this conversation with you. I’m going back to bed.
Me: (weakly) No.
Body: Excuse me?
Me: (more strongly) Just give me a minute. Nap while I stand here and think for a second.
Body: Ok, get back to me when you decide to go back to bed.
Me: *shuffles to kitchen, makes cup of coffee and toasted english muffin w/ peanut butter*
Brain: Is that coffee?
Me: I think so.
Brain: *sniffs* GIMME.
Me: Hold on, it’s too hot.
Brain: DON’T CARE. GIMME.
Brain: Oof. Why am I so fuzzy?
Me: Because it’s 5:27?
Brain: Yeah, that’d do it. Ok, drink your coffee and I’ll check back in with you in 10.
Me: *sips coffee and eats breakfast in silence*
Brain: Hey, so, question for you…
Me: Shoot.
Brain: Do you really need me on this run? Or can I check out until you’re done?
Me: Um. As long as I’m aware enough to watch out for cars, I should be ok.
Brain: Cool, yo. Catch you later!
Me: *gets geared up, stretches, and heads out the door*
Me: *starts to jog down the block*
Body: WHOA. Whoa. WHOA. WHOA. What the hell are you DOING??
Me: Running. Or at least trying to.
Body: Who told you that you could do that?
Me: Um. I need to. I want to. I think.
Body: You could have asked me.
Me: You were off in dreamland. Next time, help me out when I’m trying to get up and I’ll ask for your input.
Body: Yeah, like that’s gonna ever happen.
Me: Asking for your input?
Body: No, me helping you out.
Body: I’ll have you know I’m doing this under duress.
Me: I know. BELIEVE ME, I know.
Body: I’m not going to like this, you know.
Me: Yes you will.
Body: I’ll believe it when I see it.
Me: Um, you like running.
Body: NOT AT THE BUTTCRACK OF DAWN I DON’T.
Me: Relax, relax. Look, we’re already a half-mile in to the run. Don’t you feel better?
Body: Not really.
Me: Then why are you running a minute faster pace than you were when we started?
Body: Because the sooner I hit 4 miles, the sooner I’m done with this running crap.
Me: That’s the ticket. Stick with me, kid, and you’ll go far.
Body: Yeah, not the best way to convince me to keep going.
Brain: HEY GUYS! MAN, THESE ARE SOME MONDO ENDORPHINS! I FEEL GREAT! I’M FLYING! I COULD REPROVE FERMAT’S LAST THEOREM WITH NO PAPER RIGHT NOW! MAN, DON’T YOU STOP RUNNING, EVER!
Me & Body: Shut up. Shut up now, or I will watch reruns of According to Jim until you shrivel up and are left sobbing in the deepest recesses of my head.
Brain: (meekly) OK. Hey, look out for that car.
Me: Thanks.
Brain: Don’t mention it.
Body: Um, guys – next time, can you plan a route that doesn’t involve hills?
Brain: That’s sort of hard to do around here. We can minimize ‘em, but unless we make laps in the neighborhood or drive over to the middle school track, it’s hard to keep it level.
Body: Fine by me!
Brain: Laps around the neighborhood are only slightly more appetizing than watching episodes of Deal or No Deal. I will do everything in my power to sabotage you at work today if you force me to do that more than once a week.
Me: Ok, ok, settle down, guys. Look, we’ll work out a compromise later. Right now though, let’s just get through this last mile and then we can move on to something a little more fun this morning.
Body: Like sleep?
Brain: Like more coffee?
Me: How about – a shower, some yogurt, and a nice leisurely drive to work with air conditioning and some interesting podcasts to listen to?
Body and Brain: Deal.
Me: *sighs* And to think I’m crazy enough to consider training for a half-marathon this fall.
Body and Brain: WHOA. Whoa. WHOA. WHOA.
Me: *sighs*
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June 08 2011
A Different Point of View
In my household, I’m usually the person behind the camera, snapping photos of the rest of the family. Not that I have any problem hamming it up for the camera, but I like taking photos and so it often falls to me to capture activities and memories on ‘film’ to reminisce over, later.
This past April may have changed that somewhat, though – for the Color Princess’s 6th birthday, she got a Fisher-Price brand digital-toy-camera and has joined the ranks of the amateur photographers in the household. Granted, the resolution of the digital snaps is only 640×480, but she loves taking pictures and seems to have a bit of an eye for composition already. But don’t take my word for it – see for yourself:
Now if only I could get her to write my blog posts for me, too, I’d be all set!
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